THREE STEPS for surviving a crisis

Today I want to talk to you about one fundamental principle that literally saved lives in unbearable situations. It's the principle of combining absolute hope that you will prevail at the end of the crisis with retaining an ability to look clearly and honestly in the eyes of your reality.

How can applying this apparent paradox, the combination of absolute hope and unconditional acceptance of reality, mean a difference between survival and perishing?

Let us start with a quote from Admiral Jim Stockdale: "This is a very important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end, which you can never afford to lose with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of the current reality, whatever they might be."

This principle, called the "Stockdale paradox," literally saved Admiral Stockdale's life.

Jim Stockdale was one of the highest-ranking military officers when he became a prisoner during the Vietnam War. He was brutally tortured more than 20 times in the eight years in captivity. During his imprisonment, he had no rights, no release date, and no certainty that he would ever survive or see his family again.

But he did survive and lived a beautiful and productive life.

What was the difference between him and other captives sharing the same environment and treatment in prison but did not survive? It was the adherence to this combination of hope and reality.

Stockdale noticed that many captives were dying during certain times of the year attached to the major holidays. A few months before the holidays, people will start having hopeful conversations. The main topic would be a certainty of a release around the holiday time. But then holidays came by – and nothing happened. For a few weeks afterward, people would still have hope. They would create and discuss the possible obstacles – holidays in congress, paperwork delays, but when the reality that a release is not coming as "planned" would hit – many would die. This type of death, a death from dashed hopes that were not rooted, was also noticed by other writers who survived Holocaust or Labor camps under Stalinism. When stakes are high, the phenomenon of dying from unfulfilled hopes is very real. In critical life-and-death situations, the body's internal survival resources can give up and go offline due to extreme disappointment.

Now let's see how we can transform the survival strategy of balancing hope with reality in a practical way.

Here are three steps that will allow you to manage your life during critical events. But, of course, you can also use the same steps during any uncertain times. Let's say you lost the job that you love with no certain prospects of new employment. Now we are going to apply the Stockdale paradox to this situation.

First step: KEEPING HOPE. You can say to yourself: "I have the utmost hope that I will find a great job."

Second step: PRACTICAL EFFORTS. While Stockdale could not do anything but wait (and work on this mindset to stay alive), you can do daily practical steps to find the best job. For example, you can start networking, applying for jobs, getting additional qualifications, etc. And, of course, work on your abundance mindset!

Third step: RELEASE of TIMING and CONDITIONS of the outcome. You can say to yourself: “A new job will happen, but it's unknown when and how exactly it will happen.” The job might happen through networking, someone would call you out of the blue, or somebody would pick up your application.

Success in prevailing in crisis and uncertainly by following this formula depends on making a conscious decision.

You tell yourself, "I don't know when and how I will find a job. I'm releasing worries about timing and method. I am concentrating on what is up to me – steps 1 and 2 – Maintaining Hope and Practical Effort. I am deciding to concentrate on hope and looking for a job, but when fearful thoughts about timing come up – I will release them. When controlling thoughts about how this job should be found come up – I will release them".

Let's look at another example – a diagnosis of a serious critical illness.

It might be easy to give up and say: "I'm not going to do anything; I'm going to die anyway. So, what's the point? Although, and it's true, we all have the free will to decide to go, we can also honestly admit that the timing of dying is not up to us; in some cases, we can even be ready to transition. But if you are not ready to die yet, you need to decide to do anything in your power to give yourself the best chance for living. Let's look at Stockdale's case. He had no idea if he would be killed or would ever be released, yet he knew that keeping hope was his best chance of survival. At the same time, even though he believed in survival and release without a doubt, he did not assign timing or conditions to the release.

So, in the case of critical illness, you can apply this three-step formula to give yourself the best possible chance for a cure. Remember, the process begins with making a decision and keeping your promise to yourself to stick with this decision!

Step 1: Keeping hope. Say to yourself: "I am making a decision to absolutely believe that I'm going to live through this illness and get cured (or go into remission). This belief is undeniable. I am choosing to have this belief. "

Step 2: Practical efforts. Say to yourself: "I am making a decision to put all my efforts into finding right doctors, adjust my lifestyle, search for holistic way of healing, etc. -i.e., I will do anything that I can to achieve a cure."

Step 3: Release the timing and condition of the outcome. Say to yourself: "I have hope and putting all my efforts in achieving the cure. I am releasing fearful thoughts about timing of the cure, and controlling thoughts about the exact way this cure will be achieved".

To conclude, I want to give you a couple of quotes from Elie Wiesel, Romanian- American writer, Nobel Prize Laureate, and holocaust survivor. These quotes are from the book "Night," a memoir about his time in the concentration camp that he entered as a 14-year-old teenager and where half of his family perished. "In the beginning there was faith - which is childish; trust - which is vain; and illusion - which is dangerous." "There's a long road of suffering ahead of you. But don't lose courage. You've already escaped the gravest danger: selection. So now, muster your strength, and don't lose heart. We shall all see the day of liberation. Have faith in life. Above all else, have faith. Drive out despair, and you will keep death away from yourselves."

Let these words guide you in any crisis – never lose faith that you prevail, drive out despair from your soul, but keep looking straight and honest in the eyes of reality.