3 surprisingly obvious ways to be comfortable with fear
“Between stimulus and response, there is a space.
In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Attributed to Viktor Frankl
Here is a somewhat unorthodox notion: what really troubling us is not fear itself, but our reaction to fear, i.e., “fear of feeling fear”. Fear is an emotion, that reflects our normal adaptive response to real or perceived danger. In thousands of evolutionary years, fear has been serving us as a survival mechanism protecting from mindless exposure to unnecessary risks.
Is it realistic to assume that we can avoid “feeling fear”? Absolutely not! But we can learn to become comfortable with feeling and experiencing our fears. By learning how to not react to emotions, including fear, we take control over our lives instead of allowing emotions to dictate our actions.
Today, September 20th, when Full Moon in sensitive, spiritually connected Pisces illuminates the sky, is a perfect time to connect to your true essence of an eternal spirit who knows that there is really nothing to fear.
· So, should we try to avoid “feeling Fear”? Absolutely not! On the other hand - is it realistic to assume that we can strong will ourselves into not to experience fear? Another resounding No! What we Can do is to learn how to treat fear just as any emotion that comes and goes, even practice gratitude towards it. In my future posts we will go over different practical ways to learn how to master a way of intentional living and create life we want even when we experience a scary and painful emotion.
· Remember that the unknown feeds fear. As example, here is a reality of COVID-19- we don’t know how long the escalation of the viral infections would last, how long the isolation would last, what would be an effect on the overall economy and our own financial situation, and even if we or members of our families get sick or survive.
Just know that fear of unknown it's a normal part of human survival instinct, that we carry in our genes for thousands of years and treat it for what it is – part of our biology. I would advise you to learn more about the biology of fear—understanding its nature can help tremendously with mastering your own fears. I will also write more on this subject in later blogs.
· So, how do we keep living while experiencing fear? In uncertain times, it’s very important to control what we can control and accept that we can control how the situation would unfold. It’s in your power to control:
• You daily routine
• Your response to the arising situations
• Your response to your own feelings
• Your response to the feelings and actions of your family members
· How do we learn to be comfortable with fear? Here are 3 surprisingly simple ways:
With Mindfulness. In this case, mindful approach can be a simple awareness that Fear exists in a present moment as evolutionary survival mechanism, and cultivation of a nonjudgmental attitude towards own fears and fears expressed by others.
With Acceptance. Accepting the fear as a passing emotion, without evaluating its value, judging how it affects us, or denying our emotional reaction. By accepting fear “as is”, simply as part of our reality, we can start observing it just as we would observe the rain or snow.
With Commitment. We can commit to fulfilling our dreams even when experiencing fear by connecting to our Life values, making commitment to live according to these values and proactively taking actionable steps towards this commitment
Let me know if this makes sense to you. I would love to hear if you need to know more on anything that has been discussed here.
Please drop any questions/comments here – would love to connect and see what you think.